Do you ever feel like your living your life in slow motion? Like you’re in a dream, running to your life’s ambition, but you can’t seem to get there?
That’s me, right now. I’m running in slow motion stuck in a waiting pattern. God’s been telling me to wait for a while now.
The temptation to bag it all looms, because it seems easier to do that than to wait. Waiting drives me crazy. I second guess God every day, “Has he forgotten about me?” “Did I hear Him wrong?” “Is He waiting until I’m 96 years old!?!”
When second guessing doesn’t give me answers, next on my to do list is to go south with my age old God-must-be-fed-up-and-sick-of-me routine. “He’s waiting for me to get over all my sin and be perfect so He can finally use me.” Or, “”Maybe I’m more ordinary than I thought, and it’s only my pride driving the train to do great things.”
The thing is, I’m outgrowing all those excuses. I know better than to think He’s forgotten me, or I’m not good enough. I know God loves me and would prefer to use me, flaws and all. I also know I am worth everything to Him. As I throw myself on the floor, all I really want to know is “what’s going on?” and “When?”
Control freak that I am, God has a way of dealing with my childlike ways. He put a Bible study in front of me by author Angela Thomas: When Wallflowers Dance. It encouraged me to just settle down and wait. She writes, “. . . you can begin to trust Him so much that your waiting becomes a beautiful offering. An act of devotion. A sacrifice of praise.”
In that light, waiting is not so bad. I praise God for those words because they settled me down enough to wait on God for another day. Perhaps another week, month or heaven forbid, another year.
I pray that waiting on God draws you closer than ever to the one who holds your life in your hands.
God’s plans for you are worth the wait.